fenstaff: (grumpy cat)
π—›π—Όπ˜π—²π—Ή 𝗙𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗙𝗙 ([personal profile] fenstaff) wrote in [community profile] hotelfen2021-08-30 01:14 pm

𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 πƒπ‘πˆπ•π„ πŒπ„πŒπ„ 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐗

I. A-A-AY, I'M ON VACATION
if you don't like your life, then you should go and change it β™«β™ͺ
Welcome to Hotel Fen!

All guests are given the current week’s list of special activities by the cheerful blonde receptionist upon check in. There’s also a small stack of them on the reception desk should you lose yours, or if you would like a second copy.

Your itinerary reads:

MONDAY — TOO ZEN TO GIVE A DAMN
The two conference rooms in the third floor have been transformed to accommodate several massage chairs with masseuses. The two seminar rooms have also been cleaned up, and all the chairs have been settled on one side to make room for several yoga mats, spread out and waiting for people to use them. The instructors are two pretty blondes, tall and lithe like supermodels, and they're in one of those impressive acrobatic poses when you enter.

TUESDAY — HIKE MORE, WORRY LESS
There are several beautiful trails around the hotel for people to hike and explore. Some are marked as longer than others, but there are plenty of guides around with maps to hand you or actually accompany you on the hikes. They’re also happy to suggest which trail is best for you based on your level of experience.

WEDNESDAY — I WAS MERMAID FOR THIS
The pool area on the first floor is bustling with activity today. There are extra towels for everyone, there’s music pumping through the speakers, and there are a few tables set up with snacks. And while pools aren’t just for kids, there are some juice boxes and animal crackers for those who are so inclined.

THURSDAY — INTO THE UNKNOWN (BUT SAFELY)
Nestled in the small hill behind the hotel is a cave that you can rent equipment to explore. The tour guides will assure you that there’s no real way to get lost in the caves; all the paths are marked and will lead you toward the exit. So why not explore? You never know how deep they go or what you’ll find in them.

FRIDAY — A BALANCED DIET IS CHOCOLATE IN BOTH HANDS
The restaurant is holding special demonstrations throughout the day, and after the demonstration there are free samples to help yourselves to. Ever wondered how to make truffles? The dessert chef will be more than happy to take you through the experience.


II. I CAN TOUCH THE COLORS AROUND ME
this beautiful life, i think it'd be nice with you β™«β™ͺ
Noticed the hotel's theme yet? One Saturday night it's going to be shoved into your face in full force, because it's time for the summer blót, a feast for the Norse god of war, Odin. There's going to a bonfire and face paint and singing and dancing, and of course, free-flowing booze and lots of good food. You can come in costume too, if you want to bring out the Viking in you!



III. ARE YOU, ARE YOU, COMING TO THE TREE?
stranger things have happened here β™«β™ͺ
It's a great morning to go hiking! Or night, if that's your thing. And everything's just peachy... until you try to leave the perimeter of the hotel compound, because then you'll inexplicably find yourself on the trail leading right back to the entrance.

The phenomenon is usually accompanied by the sighting of an old, blackened tree — but once you turn and walk away from it, it disappears. The tree also never seems to be quite in the same place. What gives?



IV. THE HAPPIEST SOUND OF THEM ALL (NETWORK)
ring ring, why don't you give me a call? β™«β™ͺ
There is no cell reception in the vicinity of the hotel. At all. No matter what you do or try, nada. And while each of the rooms have vintage telephones, they can only call other rooms, the front desk and the restaurant.

The business center next to the gym on the first floor has several computers for guests to use. They seem like they're connecting to the internet well enough, if not just a little slow, but you will never actually receive emails from anyone from the outside world other than emails designed to look like spam. Hmm, did your emails out actually reach their destination?

Don't worry, though, you're supposed to be on vacation! So why not chat up your new friends instead, or leave them messages at the front desk?



V. I'M COUNTIN' ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR... (BONUS)
this is my longest elevator ride β™«β™ͺ
Okay, we're just really here to plug the song, which was composed for our book's soundtrack. ☝️

But yes, you're stuck in the hotel's vintage elevator. Good luck!

counterstep: (Default)

[personal profile] counterstep 2021-09-08 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
bucky arrived with his smartphone. does it work? if so, to what capacity? or is it going to be a dead brick anyway because he has no charger?